Written by Kitty. Posted on Dec 13, 01:42 PM.

Why Bella is a Good Character

“Let’s play a game,” said Kitty to one of her made-up people named Malachi, who looked simply thrilled to have his newspaper-reading interrupted. “I’m going to list all of the distinct characteristics Bella has. That way I can hopefully prove with facts that she is a good character.”

“Good luck finding anything,” said Malachi, “and I mean that with utmost sincerity.”

“Nonsense! It’ll be easy once I get started.”

Kitty opened her notebook to a mostly-blank page and stared it down, ballpoint pen in hand. No idea was coming to her instantly, but she figured giving it time would give her loads of ideas.

Just then, there was a breeze through the open window, and some of Kitty’s hair brushed against the paper. She stared at it for a few moments, then realized something.

“Aha!” she said. “Bella has brown hair.”

“That doesn’t count,” Malachi said, looking over the top of the comics section. “Personality traits, not physical ones.”

“Maybe she’s mousy because she has brown hair,” said Kitty. “Right? Blondes are dumb, brunettes are shy, redheads have a temper…”

“How many people do you know whose hair color fits their personality?”

Kitty thought for a minute. “She could be a natural blonde, and that would explain things—”

Malachi took a moment to facepalm, and seeing that she was not quite ‘getting it’, spoke again. “Use your brain for a second,” he said. “Do I have a temper?”

“Not really…but your brother does, and he’s got red hair too,” said Kitty.

“Never mind. Just get on with your list.”

Kitty nodded and stared down at her notebook again. After scratching out the note about brown hair, she doodled mindlessly in the margin—was Bella really that dull? She thought about it, putting all twelve of her brain cells to work, and then a light went on in her head.

“She likes Muse!”

“So does everyone in the Twilight universe,” Malachi said. He went back to the newspaper. “Hehe…Garfield really enjoys that lasagna, doesn’t he?”

She scowled at the notebook, crossing out the Muse note. This was supposed to be an article for ImpishIdea, detailing how Bella could be a decent character. She had all day to write it…it was Saturday, after all…there was no real hurry. Except by now she usually had an idea of some sort.

“She, umm…complains about stuff a lot, like when she moves to Washington.”

“Good. Now you’re getting somewhere.”

Kitty wrote it down.

“There’s only one thing on this list,” she said. “Why can’t I come up with anything else? It’s a little hard to believe any character could possibly be that…indistinct. It’s like she has no personality beyond Edward.”

Malachi narrowed his eyes over the comics section for the thousandth time.

“You know what? Why don’t you just write down whatever comes into your head?”

“Okay, that’ll be easier…thanks!”

Tagged as Bella, Kitty, Parody, Picture, Twilight.

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