Comments

• Danielle (Eragon's "Epic" Poem)

  True, but the rest of the book is written in English, so we can assume that it has been translated from Elvish or whatever language is spoken in Eragon’s world. Another thing you have to look at is how other authors handle the whole language thing. Louis Sachar’s song in the book Holes, for instance. If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs The bark on the tree was just a little bit softer While the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely He cries to the moon, if only, if only It’s mentioned in the text that the poem rhymed in Latvian, so Stanley’s …

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  You know, I’m starting to think this book would’ve been more interesting if Romilly had actually been a guy. And not because I want to read a near-homosexual-rape scene, but because….well, as a girl, Romilly kind of pisses me off. But if she were really a guy who believed women should be independent and develop their talents, I think that would be a vast improvement.

• Novur (Eragon's "Epic" Poem)

  You may want to note that this is supposed to have been translated from whatever-the-hell-the-elves-speak, so it may have rhymed, or may have had alliteration, or it may have been a monstrous pile of shit. But the point is, this is in English, and you can’t really judge it honestly unless you disregard context.

• dorotea (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  “homosexuals are better/more empathic/have better dress sense/are more loving” Really? this is just been politically correct. All the gay men I have met are whinny, anoying,“I wish I was a woman because I could be a whore and make money without working/ be a housewife”, but if I complain i’m homophobic.

• ProserpinaFC (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  … Excellent title, dude. XD NSFW times < 9000

• Tolly (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  … smacks MZB wih a frozen trout Sorry, Marion, but you brought this on yourself. smack smack smack Most porn is more realistic than this book, and that just ain’t right.

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  Dot. Dot. Dot. I have no words. Please don’t tell me Romilly will only find true love in a lesbian relationship. I mean, I know it’s a personal thing and all that, but the way this book is going…. Eh, who am I kidding. It’ll be one more soapbox MZB gets to bash us over the head with, if my guess is right.

• Talisman (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  To claim everything is 100% heteronormative is stupid. Claiming that homosexual love is somehow intrisically “better”, “more loving” or “kinder” just because it’s homosexual is just as RETARDED. Yes, I said it, it’s retarded. These days, authors get away with claiming that homosexuals are better/more empathic/have better dress sense/are more loving/what have you not because of who the people are, but because of their sexual orientation. From what I’ve heard, this view is somewhat prevalent in Japan. Yaoi (warning: do not image search unless you want to see naked gay men), or “boys’ love,” is considered more pure and generally better …

• Steph the Sue (Twilight with Vampires)

  I thought it was real. ._.

• Steph the Sue (Twilight with Vampires)

  I thought it was real. ._.

• Steph the Sue (Twilight with Vampires)

  I thought it was real. ._.

• Steph (what is left) (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  It does what sakuuya said, I think. (I am definitely not picky)

• Steph (what is left) (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  It does what sakuuya said, I think. (I am definitely not picky)

• Kyllorac (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 10: Rape is ok if it's homosexual.)

  I learnt in bio class that the average human menustral cycle is twenty-eight days, but Lenka assures me that forty days is not unheard of, and is fine so long as it’s regular. Yep. I’m one of those women whose monthly doesn’t come every month (it’s closer to every other month), and I know another woman whose comes every 35 days or so. That line still made me go “o_O”. I find it somewhat suspicious that MZB was so strangely specific about the exact length of time in between Romily’s periods. There’s usually a day or two of variation from period …

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• sakuuya (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 9: The power of Heart.)

  Or even some irony pills.

• Penny (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 9: The power of Heart.)

  Gee, I hope Romilly finds some iron pills soon.

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 9: The power of Heart.)

  ‘Nuff said.

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  I don’t exactly remember who Romilly told these guys she was with—was it Garris? I was just thinking….if Garris “rules the king,” as this passage seems to imply, wouldn’t it have been a smarter political maneuver on Romilly’s part to marry the guy, have his kids and manipulate him from behind the scenes so that at the most crucial moment of the rebellion, Garris can be caught with his pants down, so to speak? Or if Garris isn’t the bad guy, wouldn’t it have made more sense for her to flirt with that guy so she can do some fancy …

• Sweguy (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  Hm. Here I was, thinking this was another article with the same arguments that have been used over and over again. But actually, I found your words very much your own, and I feel a bit more enlighted than before. Thank you very much, Artimaeus!

• Penny (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  “It is the first thing the monks teach us,” he said, “how to warm ourselves from within, by breathing; some of the older monks can bathe in the water of the well and then dry their clothes by their body heat when they put them on, but that seems a little more than I would want to try. I was cold for the first tenday before I learned it, but I have never suffered from the cold since then.” (Pg. 562) Sounds a bit like the “Breath of Fire” used by the firebenders in Avatar: The Last Airbender, only there it …

• dragonarya (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  At least in my story, I give valid reasons why the traditional myths don’t apply: Garlic myth arose because vampires have sensitive smell, they cast shadows and reflections because they are solid and have mass, anyone would die with a stake through the heart, and while still more sensitive to sunlight than humans they’ve adapated to hunt their prey. I haven’t thought of a good one for crosses yet. But that was my first story and I’m working on another story now. :P And just for the record, I started this before Twilight was even published. Also for the record, my …

• fffan (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  oh great. Now SMeyer is not only a self insert in the story, but she’s also a liar. Pfft.

• lccorp2 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  Oh, and the heating effect of Tummo breathing is not its primary purpose.

• lccorp2 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  A quick google reveals that “Tumo” or “Tummo” breathing, the practice as managed by Tibetian monks, a) require years of practice, a knowledge of some basic meditation techniques, and damn well can’t be taught to an outsider in a week, b) have limited effectiveness (temperature rise of 8.3 celsius in extremeties), c) and are not meant to last long periods of time (the world record for subsisting in freezing ice is one hour and 31 minutes, held by a Tummo master). Again, like the hawks and horses, it’s something that was grabbed on to with little actual knowledge that could be …

• Arya66 (Teams)

  Haha, yes Tyler’s van does deserve a standing ovation. applauds

• Nate Winchester (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  Very true. I’ve really been reading this book for too long if I’m missing things like that. Well it’s easy to forget these things are vampires so I can’t blame you. ;-) I was thinking less about why he’s frustrated, and more about how he handles it. It would definitely be difficult to lose telepathic powers after relying on them for 100 years, but you’d expect him to cope with it without as many tantrums or mood swings. True, though some “childish” regression could be understood, it would have been better if she showed Ed growing. (and yes, some of my frustration about …

• Loni (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  Regarding the monks and their amazing self-heating system – aren’t there stories about Buddhist monks being able to heat themselves this way? I seem to remember reading that somewhere. Probably Cracked.

• Artimaeus (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  It could have been a really good series, if Meyer had just written it logically. And hadn’t been dead-set on making it a “true love” story. This is true. It’s sad because most of the mistakes she makes are really very avoidable. Or… you know – VAMPIRES KILL PEOPLE! Very true. I’ve really been reading this book for too long if I’m missing things like that. SlyShy forgive me but I feel the need to defend Twilight on this one minor point. I was thinking less about why he’s frustrated, and more about how he handles it. It would definitely be difficult to lose …

• Nate Winchester (Magic for your review)

  You mean quoting them? Just put a bq with a period (no space between q. space between dot and following) in front of the quote passage and there you go.

• Theresa (Magic for your review)

  Ok, how do you highlight previous comments??

• ZeeZee (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  Let me guess what happens next. Orain: Oh no! There’s a plot to kill the obviously-true-king! If we don’t warn him in an hour, he will die and our country will forever live under a cruel ursurper! Romilly: So…let’s go have a drink? Maybe play some darts? Orain: Sounds good. You know, they could actually be agents of the EVUL KING attempting to kill the true heir by neglect. … I didn’t think so either. Though it might be an interesting story if it turned out to be a report by two secret evil agents (aka Romilly and Orain). … Yah, I didn’t …

• Theresa (On Character)

  “a very timely article indeed.” I agree with you completely.

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 2: It's not a fantasy novel without a bar brawl.)

  Romilly was, not for the first time, grateful for her farm upbringing… Yeah. If every one of my posts on this series proved one thing, it is this: Romilly didn’t have any farm upbringing. I’d be afraid to show this to my mom and aunts (who were girls raised on farms) lest I unleash a terrible rage. For then would I have stayed at home and been married, and never known this wonderful freedom of city and tavern, woods and fields, never have worked free and had money in my pockets, never really known that I had never been free, never …

• Nate Winchester (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  This articles what I consider to be one of the most depressing things about the Twilight series, which is just how good it could really be. There’s all kinds of potential sprinkled throughout the books, and Meyer actually does a pretty good job writing several of her minor characters (Alice and Jasper come to mind). It could have been a really good series, if Meyer had just written it logically. And hadn’t been dead-set on making it a “true love” story. This is why I hope my fellow imps don’t let me do the same in nagasaki moon. ;-) Reckless driving is …

• dragonarya (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  See, Smeyer’s admitting Twilight is wish fulfillment right there in that article. “Mature” my foot. Also, that pointer about putting characters in danger was good. Definitely something to remember.

• Puppet (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  Great Article, Artimaeus. and Meyer actually does a pretty good job writing several of her minor characters (Alice and Jasper come to mind). It could have been a really good series, if Meyer had just written it logically. And hadn’t been dead-set on making it a “true love” story. I almost liked Jasper and Alice. >.>

• Kawnliee (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  This articles what I consider to be one of the most depressing things about the Twilight series, which is just how good it could really be. There’s all kinds of potential sprinkled throughout the books, and Meyer actually does a pretty good job writing several of her minor characters (Alice and Jasper come to mind). It could have been a really good series, if Meyer had just written it logically. And hadn’t been dead-set on making it a “true love” story.

• Romantic Vampire Lover (Twilight Abridged and Annotated, Chapter 9)

  Lovely; I liked the comparison between Edward and Darcy; very perceptive of you. Wonderful insight (and pics) as always. :D

• Artimaeus (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  Good luck man. Most of these “philosophy of” books are pretty shallow in any case, even if they’re about a work that you like (as I found with The Philosophy of House MD).

• Devin (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  Looking forward to this. Don’t hurt yourself too much, Nate.

• Snow White Queen (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  I confess having a ‘wha?’ moment when I heard Twilight and philosophy in the same title without it being some sort of joke. Here’s hoping that your IQ will not suffer too much from having to read it. (But I do confess to find some philosophy interesting, for all that I don’t know anything about it.)

• kaikaikat (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  I confess to having some morbid curiosity as to what might be found in this book. Good luck! I hope the pain is minimal.

• Chant (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  The more I see actual critics praising and analyzing the likes of Twilight, the more I lose faith in humanity. crawls into hole and waits for apocalypse

• Penny (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 7: Contrivance and convenience.)

  Wow, the horse stuff is so unrealistic that it’s almost insulting. But maybe it just seems that way to me since I’ve been feeding my horses all winter, and even when they’re just walking around in the field and not doing anything strenuous, they need at least four flakes of hay (that’s about half a bale) a day. They also have to drink I don’t know how many gallons of water a day, and wouldn’t get enough from freaking frost.

• Romantic Vampire Lover (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  Unless you’re very picky, there’s some eye candy for you. I guess I’m very picky, then. ;P is waiting impatiently

• Puppet (Brisingr Review)

  Did anyone else feel, while you were reading Brisingr, that there was times when you weren’t really reading it? Your eyes were just sort of passing over the words and you weren’t acctually taking anything in? I started getting that sensation after about two paragraphs. That’s pretty much how I felt throughout the entire book. Brisingr is so forgettable, it’s all pointless filler in an empty book. I remember a few events but nothing specific. When I finished reading it my eyes hurt.

• fffan (Brisingr Review)

  I also thought his magic system was a little flawed. I don’t understand why Eragon is so obsessed with getting a “proper” elven sword. I would imagine there’d be some sort of spell to stich up an improper human sword if it ever got dented or shattered (even though I’m pretty sure metal is mallable). There’s a spell for reataching whole human limbs isn’t there? Maybe metal is an exception to magic but it seems like a little bit of a plot hole to me.

• fffan (Brisingr Review)

  Did anyone else feel, while you were reading Brisingr, that there was times when you weren’t really reading it? Your eyes were just sort of passing over the words and you weren’t acctually taking anything in? I started getting that sensation after about two paragraphs.

• falconempress (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  Oh god. This is going to hurt, isnt it?

• fffan (Accepting and Rejecting Feedback)

  @ the three comments above: Uh… Hm.

• sakuuya (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  My experience with the Philosophy Of series was that they weren’t discussions of the philosophy in their subjects so much as they were outlines of various philosophic concepts using examples from a particular subject. Granted, I’d rather read the former too, but you sound like you’re expecting it to try and explain Twilight’s philosophical goals. It won’t. If it’s anything like the ones I’ve paged through, it’ll use Twilight to explain other philosophical concepts rather than using philosophical concepts to explain Twilight.

• Kyllorac (Twilight & Philosophy: prep and cover)

  So you’ve finally been posted. :P I eagerly await this series. :D

• Bowser Marzenai (Maradonia and the Seven Bridges Spork, Part One)

  You did an amazing job on this sporking. I’m new to fantasy literature, so I’m still developing my taste for it. The deeper I read Maradonia, the more the errors come out. But I can’t even turn my brain off and read this without seeing the errors.

• NeuroticPlatypus (Twilight with Vampires)

  This is awesome, Kawnilee, and it really looks real.

• Chant (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  How do you stand to read these? How did this book get published??

• lookingforme (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  And sometimes hate is pure, simple hate.

• Simple Arithmetics (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  LMAO These reviews are getting angrier and angrier. So much ranting, using obscenities several times. D= The cartwheeling around the same issues and criticises the same thing over and over again. Misogyny, Mary Sue, animal companions, incorrect hawking, flat characters yada yada yada. IDK but me thinks, IMHO (and prolly not only IMHO) this kind of intense hate usually means one thing LOL: lccorp2 Has Fallen Madly Passionately IN LOVE,;P Apparently this book made him feel such strong emotions he is subconsciously enjoying it. << >> am I right? so when’s the wedding? LOL =D

• Charlotte (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  AND, that is. I think I need some sleep.

• Charlotte (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  Oops, missed an ‘an’ in there.

• Charlotte (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  I’ve been enjoying these a great deal. I consider myself to be a feminist, but to me there is a big difference between being a strong female and being a whiny brat who turns down suitors scorns wearing dresses. Can’t wait for the next sporking.

• fffan (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  I hate it when animals are used to shove a plot along. Saphira, Precosia, Romilly’s horse and many more.

• fffan (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 12)

  Who’s Elanor? I’ve heard her (I’m assuming it’s a her) name once or twice, but I’ve never seen any articles written by her.

• fffan (The Twilight Theatrical Trial)

  Did anyone else wonder why Edward told Bella he had been watching her sleep for 2 months yet she had only been living at forks for a little under a month? Also, did anyone get annoyed by Edward’s supposedly-musical-but-in-reality-husky voice or bella’s low monotone voice? It sounded like she was inhaling argon gas or something at regular intervals… Ah well I’m probably getting too involved with a movie that after all doesn’t really have a plot until after about an hour.

• fffan (On Character)

  I still think that Batman Begins is a better example of a compelling antagonist than The Dark Knight but yeah, this is a cool article.

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 8 part 1: Dumb and dumber.)

  Uh-huuuuh. Someone found a cure for the common cold! Call the patent office! Call it right now! It’s actually Robitussin-. What does Romilly have to think about this? Oh, wait, it’s a male-exclusive community, so it’s automatically Bad and has to be rubbished: And she wondered why women were so strongly prohibited. But she doesn’t wonder at all about why men are prohibited in that Sisterhood of the Sword? Yay for double standards! < /sarcasm >

• fffan (Twilight with Vampires)

  @ Asahel really? I heard it was a leprechaun…

• fffan (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 7: Contrivance and convenience.)

  Wow. This is your second post in about two weeks. Keep up the good work.

• Asahel (Twilight with Vampires)

  Now, I haven’t read it, but wasn’t there a vampire in Twilight? Like, near the end? I thought I heard about a vampire that kidnaps Bella to try to lure the Greek god (I might’ve misheard; it may be a marble statue brought to life by a Greek god) she has a crush on into a trap. Anyway, confirm/deny?

• Penny (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  I wasn’t a huge fan of Graceling because I despised Katsa for some reason. That isn’t to say she isn’t a developed character, but something about her just rubbed me the wrong way. I was also annoyed with the way things went down with the villain because it was all very anti-climatic. That being said, I still gave the companion novel “Fire” a try and much preferred it. It gave more personality to Leck and the way the protagonist’s character arc was written was very well done IMO.

• Anonymous45 (Twilight with Vampires)

  There could be 5 interconnected reasons, possibly. I will try to express: Reason 1)In the Middle Ages most of the population was illiterate so their um, “literature” was oral—fairy tales ballads and legends passed from generation to generation. So 600 years later we have stuff like: -Beowulf -King Arthur and Knights of the Round Table – Camelot -Tristan and Isolde -Robin hood(?) -Raoul of Cambrais -Nibelungensaga Most of this stuff is pretty epic, there are dragons and battles and magic and adventure and travels and everything. Kinda sounds similar to modern fantasy no? Maybe to some extent modern writers want to imitate those stories. Reason …

• Arya (Why Edward is a Good Character)

  Oh hey, I sixth the notion up at the top!

• Arya (Brisingr Review)

  Wow, I’m sorry I haven’t been on lately. Well, I’m certaim Snarkyarchie is definitely long gone by now. :)

• Wizard of Toast (Twilight with Vampires)

  Oops, yes. Shame on me. hits self over head with a cod fish for confusing basic things

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• Guignol (Spork - Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate)

  YOUR ABOUT AS FUNNY AS A BUS FULL OF SLEDGEHAMEMRS THAT JUST CRASHED INTO A BABY But that’s hilarious! D:

• Puppet (Twilight with Vampires)

  I really don’t even see the appeal of writing in the medieval period. Eh, the Medieval period is a good base for writing. It was a time where people believed in witches and dragons, it was simple and yet sophisticated time. There probably isn’t a better time for Fantasy settings, if you put it in the future everybody knows that there are no dragons or witches, if you put it too far in the past then there’s no organized civilization. The Medieval Ages, however overused, is probably the best time you could use. Speaking of my preferred fantasy time period, I like …

• ProserpinaFC (Twilight with Vampires)

  cough, cough I see what you did there. Harry Potter and Heroes Who Study Magic followed, of course by, Harry Potter and Villains Who Don’t Make Plans That Take a Full School Year to Implement

• BrandonP (Twilight with Vampires)

  You mean antagonist?

• Wizard of Toast (Twilight with Vampires)

  What about Eragon and an actulay evil king? I would quite enjoy reading about Eragon and his wonder companions failing epicly as they tried to dethrone a competent protagonist.

• Snow White Queen (Twilight with Vampires)

  I love this article! Speaking of my preferred fantasy time period, I like the Industrial Revolution.

• Artimaeus (Twilight with Vampires)

  Eragon and Dragons? If this is serious, then it’s hilarious.

• Puppet (Twilight with Vampires)

  Another brilliant article, Kawnliee.

• BrandonP (Twilight with Vampires)

  Mostly the Nile Valley (i.e. Egypt and Nubia), but I have done some research on West Africa and the Zulu as well. Right now, I feel like researching the Ashanti.

• ProserpinaFC (Twilight with Vampires)

  Pre-colonial Africa? What region? My fantasy world seems to be shaping up into a nice mix of 1910’s Americana, but with 1990’s problems, and territory magic.

• BrandonP (Twilight with Vampires)

  I’m not anti-medieval Europe on principle, but like other people said, it would be nice if another setting was chosen. Personally, I’m most interested in pre-colonial Africa right now, so that’s the setting I most often base my fantasy worlds on.

• Danielle (Twilight with Vampires)

  Medieval times sucked. Girls got married at 15 and most people didn’t live past 40. Germs were rampant, raw sewage filled the streets, and food was relatively simple. Like you said, I don’t know why people write medieval fantasy. Tolkien is the only one who did it well.

• ProserpinaFC (Twilight with Vampires)

  Hawkmistress! and actual feminism. Or Hawkmistress! and a working knowledge of medieval society. I really don’t even see the appeal of writing in the medieval period. Seriously. People EPIC FAIL it so often, it seems more like an extreme literary sport than a historical genre.

• Nate Winchester (Twilight with Vampires)

  Kawnliee, you might be right. I mean, you’d be insane to try. Wait. Uh… hang on… Dang it’s the grandfather paradox all over again.

• Kawnliee (Twilight with Vampires)

  I don’t think there’s any way to combine D:LT and sanity.

• Danielle (Twilight with Vampires)

  Hawkmistress! and actual feminism. Or Hawkmistress! and a working knowledge of medieval society. Ooh! Ooh! How about Hawkmistress! and a cold dash of reality?

• Nate Winchester (Twilight with Vampires)

  I propose D:LT and sanity.

• Danielle (Twilight with Vampires)

  Dude! That would be the best book EVER! Twilight with actual vampires? Maridonia and an Editor. The book would be all of three pages long, minus the spelling and grammar errors.

• Inspector Karamazov (Twilight with Vampires)

  Hahahaha, wow. Is this for real? I’ve got an idea: Maridonia and an Editor.

• Lilan Jaku (Twilight with Vampires)

  I’m afraid that the worst thing about all this crappy-sounding nonsense is that it might be actually better than the original…

• Spanman (Twilight with Vampires)

  Oh my goodness, Twlight with vampires?! How did we not think of this earlier?

• ProserpinaFC (Twilight with Vampires)

  Thus proceeds to squirt her morning orange juice out of her noise GOD, THAT STINGS!

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 7: Contrivance and convenience.)

  “Man, we need some rotted meat.” bq. “My horse died a few days ago. Here, let me lead you to it.” I was thinking something more akin to the last scene on Raiders of the Lost Ark, where Romilly leads the men into the forest, sees her horse’s rotting carcass and her face melts off from the sheer misery of seeing one of her mindless slaves beloved pets lying dead in the forest.

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 7: Contrivance and convenience.)

  I would’ve laughed so hard if the carcass turned out to be Romilly’s horse—you know, the one that’s been grazing on frozen grass and drinking….what has it been drinking, anyway? That would have made this book so much more awesome! “Man, we need some rotted meat.” “My horse died a few days ago. Here, let me lead you to it.”

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 7: Contrivance and convenience.)

  Oh, look, just as conveniently as people who need a falconer to care for their birds turn up, there’s a rotting carcass conveniently nearby too. I would’ve laughed so hard if the carcass turned out to be Romilly’s horse—you know, the one that’s been grazing on frozen grass and drinking….what has it been drinking, anyway? Vodka, at the tavern that gave Romilly free drinks because she’s a SUPER SPESHUL MARY SUE?

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 7: Contrivance and convenience.)

  Thankfully, the chapter ends about there, but not after Romilly overs Dom Carlo and Orain having a chat which makes so obvious that Carlo is the REAL KING. It’s nice to be mistaken, and I really hope I’m mistaken too on less inconsequential matters. Well, at least now I can have a nap. Hmmm…. I’ve lost track of this insane monarchy. What does that put Carlo’s estimated age at? Why aren’t you dying of thirst like your horse? Oh wait, it only appears when convenient, and disappears when the author doesn’t want to be bogged down with little details like actually …

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  Or, if you don’t like to read, just go to a retirement home and talk to the elderly! You’ll learn so much, and the residents will be thrilled to have someone listen to them. It’s a win-win!

• Kyllorac (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  Joy Luck Club is excellent and so very accurate.

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  I have to ask…why couldn’t Romilly just wear the skirt AND ride “non-side-saddle”? (Sorry, not good with equestrian terminology.) It’s possible, right? I mean, pants don’t have “magic saddle powers” or anything. Well it’s possible. Tricky though as you could get tangled up depending on the skirt. Also, try riding a horse with only a very thin piece of fabric between you and it. P.S. I’ve heard that the society Romilly lives in is (according to an Amazon reviewer) “heavily patriarchal and has few rights for women”. So maybe Romilly’s issues really do stem from something beyond plain bitchiness. shrug Just …

• Ashley (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  I have to ask…why couldn’t Romilly just wear the skirt AND ride “non-side-saddle”? (Sorry, not good with equestrian terminology.) It’s possible, right? I mean, pants don’t have “magic saddle powers” or anything. P.S. I’ve heard that the society Romilly lives in is (according to an Amazon reviewer) “heavily patriarchal and has few rights for women”. So maybe Romilly’s issues really do stem from something beyond plain bitchiness. shrug Just a thought.

• The Angel Islington (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  Just got and finished this weekend. Great book, good plot twists that make you go “How did I not see that?” and a great message.

• ProserpinaFC (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  The grandmother’s dialogue was some of the most groan-inducing mess I’ve heard in a long time. I’ve listened to my grandmother talk about growing up. She is 90-years-old. Black American. Southern. Baptist Christian. I can see where she enabled stupid men and where she stood up for herself. She always wanted to own her own business, but just never had the confidence. She trusted local Greek men to have stabler businesses than Black men, but she certainly didn’t hate her people. She went to church, respected the pastor, laughed at women who dithered around the pastor, trusted her brothers to help …

• Kyllorac (BFT3K--The Pearls, chapter 1. In which I weep diamond--um, I mean, PEARL tears.)

  But in Harry Potter, the words are all consistent and used for a reason, not for the heck of it, which is the case here. A lot of made up words in fantasy tend to be the apparent result of the author mashing keys on the keyboard and randomly substituting them in for other words in the story.

• fffan (Teams)

  @ tyler’s van: you deserve a standing ovation

• fffan (BFT3K--The Pearls, chapter 1. In which I weep diamond--um, I mean, PEARL tears.)

  Harry Potter has hundreds of made up words and it’s not what I would call a bad book series.

• uuzneevx (Accepting and Rejecting Feedback)

  oeq80b <a href=“http://uztbboraxywz.com/”>uztbboraxywz</a>, [url=http://biksiyoivofi.com/]biksiyoivofi[/url], [link=http://jvurfdulalqf.com/]jvurfdulalqf[/link], http://ijsgjpcmxdsn.com/

• Anonymous45 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  You didn’t explain what the problem with Romilly’s horse is?

• Kyllorac (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  I like mine with light cream and honey. /porridge Been there, done that. Now what would be new and interesting would be if someone decided to kick a woman in the vulva, which supposedly is more painful than kicking a man in the testicles. I’ve seen youtube videos of such accidents in women’s sports, and the unfortunate victims didn’t look too comfortable. As one who has fallen several times on various beam-like structures with no inconsiderable amount of force, I can confirm that it hurts like hell to be hit down there. Regardless of sex, there’s an artery and several veins down there …

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  @ ZeeZee: Especially with brown sugar. Or dried cranberries.

• ZeeZee (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  What’s wrong with porridge? It’s a perfectly good food.

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  Some problems I saw…. 1. Yes, I have to admit MZB put more thought into the whole period thing than most authors do. But Romilly is what, fifteen? Most young teenage girls get cramps about a day before they start their periods; it’s how they know to stock up on feminine products and chocolate. Many women who get cramps don’t stop getting cramps until they have children. Admittedly, not all women get them, but most of the women I know do, so shouldn’t that at least be taken into consideration? 2. What does Rory want more—a wife or a horse? Wouldn’t it …

• Tolly (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  facepalm More arguements for my never, ever reading ‘feminist’ fantasy. I know entirely too many people like this in my daily life, I don’t need my books telling me to stop enjoying cooking too, dammit.

• fffan (BFT3K--The Pearls, chapter 1. In which I weep diamond--um, I mean, PEARL tears.)

  @ kyllorac: hear hear

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 6: I hate this book so much.)

  -Now take into account this is a slip of a girl dealing with a huge hulking brute. Not only that but, depending on certain factors, he might have a bit of a gut too which would further hinder her escape attempt. About the only way I could figure it working is if Rory was a sculpted adonis who stretched regularly. She was swiftly through the door and tried to thrust it shut with shoulder (this is not a typo on my part), but he wrestled it open behind her and then he was on her. Setting aside modern building regulations… I’m pretty …

• fffan (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Introduction and Chapter 1.)

  thankyou so much for writing this. I’m sick to death of everyone telling me OMG OMG OMG what a GREAT book thus is <3 <3 <3

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  @ Soma, I read that article you mentioned. Interesting, and I think it applies to Romilly tenfold. After reading some of the other articles, however, I felt like they were leaving out something important to the cause of feminism: Men and women in a partnership. One thing that bugs me about some feminist authors (and we cast a withering glare at MZB) is that they portray feminism as women being equal with or better than men, and in a supposedly equal male-female relationship, women should get to be in charge because, well, we’re women! But what about the men? Feminism shouldn’t …

• Tolly (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  And now I remember why I’ve always loathed MZB’s works. ALL her heroines are like this. Dammit, feminist authors out there, it’s actually possible for a character to be feminist and feminine at the same time! Feminist does NOT equal preachy little pain in the butt!

• Danielle (Dear Ms. Meyer, Please Write Better)

  Please reply, I’m eager to see them. …. Eager to see what?

• Twilightlover (Dear Ms. Meyer, Please Write Better)

  Well, I’m a Twilight fan and I don’t think you see me typing like an idiot, do you? I find the Twilight series, however with some flaws, and enjoyable book. Please reply, I’m eager to see them.

• Artimaeus (Progress Update)

  I can’t wait to see how this works.

• Soma (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  I kept being reminded of an article I read about Narcissist Feminism as I read through the chapters you’ve gone through so far. It really does seem to cover Romilly’s self obsession with regards to her rights over the rights or wants/needs of any who don’t agree with her. [http://thehathorlegacy.com/narcissist-feminism/ is the link I had in mind in particular.] I’ve not read any MZB work but having read alot of fantasy in general, and from your excerpts, I doubt I’d be much impressed if she is this fond of preaching at the reader. Fantasy as an excuse for Mary Sue/Gary Stu …

• ProserpinaFC (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  This is also gratingly annoying for the ol’ “Character is born and raised in this society but doesn’t expect social norms to happen to her.” I’m glad that the author atleast admitted that Romilly had not shown proper interest in men, but she probably interprets this as “Romilly’s a smart girl whose never bothered with childish crushes.” You can’t BE at that age, not know what you should be doing, and expect me to respect you as a protagonist. (Let alone expect me to dislike your parents.) It would be like a teenager today, coasting through their senior year, then shocked …

• lccorp2 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  @Nate: This is regrettably true. Later on, apparently horses do not need to drink, a single grain cake is enough to last it for a day, and later on apparently it can graze frozen-over grass. It eventually vanishes altogether when not needed. Both crazy horse ladies whom I take my references from—a seventeen-year old and a middle-aged lady who’s worked with horses for twenty-odd years—agree that she knows jack squat, which is why the “I can tell everything about one with my majeek” premise is laughable. So yes, I am mocking everything about Romilly, simply because it deserves to be mocked. Some …

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  And I quote: “If I could arrange a marriage for you, Danielle, it would be with him.” —My mom My mom has spoken this sentence only a few times, and each time in reference to a guy at our church. And here’s the kicker: I almost always liked that guy on some level. In one case, I was getting over a crush on him. He wasn’t right for me then and I don’t think he is now, but Mom and I agree that if he grows up a little, we might make a good couple. Do I hate my mom …

• Chant (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  “But he is no ride for a lady, nor for any soft-handed fellow who wants his horse to plod along at a gentle pace; he wants firm hands and good handling.” (Pg. 467) Wait, Romilly said this? And she was the one who was just getting offended that someone would suggest that women couldn’t fly bigger hawks? Also, I don’t get why MZB needs to emphasize the whole arranged-marriage-is-bad theme…. Isn’t arranged marriage not that much of a problem anymore in most countries? I mean, I’m sure it’s still around, but is Romilly’s whining about it really going to help anything??

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  I don’t understand why Romilly’s knowledge of the horses being sold is such an issue. If she lives in a society that uses them, if she clearly regularly spends time with them, and likely knows them since they were born, wouldn’t she get to know them? You know, some people have these things called “very good memory”, “experience” and “knowing an animal in person”. She certainly should know a lot of info (as should just about anyone else in the time). Too bad she doesn’t demonstrate it except when the plot tells us she does.

• Anonymous45 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  I don’t understand why Romilly’s knowledge of the horses being sold is such an issue. If she lives in a society that uses them, if she clearly regularly spends time with them, and likely knows them since they were born, wouldn’t she get to know them? You know, some people have these things called “very good memory”, “experience” and “knowing an animal in person”. IMHO This review has turned into a mocking of everything Romilly does and Romilly’s worldview. This book is clearly written from Romilly’s point of view (Or the author’s perspective). People tend to like, perceive the world …

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  I wish you would talk to your crazy horse ladies. I’m getting tired of doing all the work. ;-) Anyways, it’s the morning after the Midsummer Festival, which is when Romilly’s evvvil misogynistic father holds his great warehouse sale of animals, mostly hawks, horses and hounds. Romilly’s governess gives her excuse from her lessons to go to this great warehouse sale because she’s so amazing at her studies that one day’s worth wouldn’t be missed, and she goes down into the courtyard where the great animal warehouse sale is being held. The first thing she sees is, of course, related …

• WiseWillow (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  Is it bad that I agree with Proserpina on the arranged marriages thing? Also, pretty feminine clothes are pretty and feminine. Apparently I am evul. You too, Proserpina. We must beware Romilly’s wrath, for we are as clever as cage birds, obviously.

• ProserpinaFC (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 5: Run, Romilly, run.)

  Keep it comin’… You are SO brave. I’m going to write perfectly friendly arranged marriages, just to spite the “Anything from before the Industrial Age is terrible!” attitude… Frankly, I wouldn’t mind my dad giving me several thousand dollars to start a new household, someone teaching me how to take care of babies and manage money, and having a pool of men to pick from (because MANY marriages gave the woman some shopping freedom, damn!) that are socially-certified to not be lazy f4ck-ups with no job, responsibility or ambition. But that’s just me.

• sansafro187 (Progress Update)

  You’re kind of a genius, man.

• lccorp2 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  @Nate: Sorry, I had a brain fart. That kid is second in line for the throne after the real king, which we meet in chapter six and is so totally NOT the king, despite mysterious cryptic conversations. I haven’t come across the REAL KING’s age yet, but from all description he’s middle-aged.

• Steph the Sue (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  I gave this book four stars.

• Steph the Sue (Progress Update)

  Sly, this is fantastic :)

• fffan (Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Part 3 - Chapter 2)

  lol i was thinking about what the dragon lord guy would’ve looked like before he turned into fire. for some reason this popped into my head: tee hee it’s llama with out ears or legs and probably would’ve improved this story had mr eng inserted it in. (i don’t own this image by the way) thank YOU, you two (and a half).

• Anonymous45 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  1) Maybe its has something to do with their lifestyle. If they are warriors they have to be very athletic ie. fight, ride horses, wat else…. You know, you can’t exactly be too athletic if you have cramps or are concerned over leaks etc. So if the enemy attacks when you are on your period you’re like, screwed. Actually in theory they would not need to take drugs—if they are very athletic they would lose body fat and their periods would stop. A lot of female athletes actually don’t get their periods. 2) The filly is wrong: animals should not be …

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  One of my biggest problems with the whole “women taking drugs to suppress their periods” thing is that…well, shouldn’t true feminism allow women to embrace their reproductive abilities AND do traditionally male activities? You’d think they’d at least take the fertility route: “We bear children, so we know how life works. Read it and weep, menfolk!” Instead, they all want to be men? Please tell me this is satire.

• Kyllorac (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  take drugs to suppress their periods dies of laughter MZB obviously did not do research, else she would know that suppressing one’s period leads to major problems, namely accelerated bone loss and severely messed up hormones. I bet these women have absolutely no body fat on them either (which would naturally result in no periods, which also results in super brittle bones that constantly fracture, especially in the feet, from the stress of everyday walking, much less rigorous battle training/fighting). XD This book has so much fail, it deserves a ph.

• RomanticVampireLover (Progress Update)

  Well done, Sly. :D I’m looking forward to seeing your finished product.

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  -It’s midsummer, so that means the foal is 1/2 years old or thereabouts. As I thought… lots of fail in the scene, just have to narrow down which one. Yeah, the foal’s mother alone should be very close to the kid and nervous about strangers. -We meet the “rightful king” later. He’s a kid about Romilly’s age. Women start bearing children about Darissa’s age, which is around 16. Ew! So the “rightful” heir was fathered by a 100+ year old man getting it on with a 16 year old girl? Anyone else feel like this violates the verisimilitude of the book? (why …

• lccorp2 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  @ Nate: -It’s midsummer, so that means the foal is 1/2 years old or thereabouts. -We meet the “rightful king” later. He’s a kid about Romilly’s age. Women start bearing children about Darissa’s age, which is around 16. -http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYt1ZEmYbaM -Point taken. -I’ve read a bit ahead, and the only “good” women I’ve seen so far are the Sisters of the Sword, who never do anything traditionally feminine, take drugs to suppress their periods, prance about in breeches and swords… The only proper way for women to gain power is apparently to behave exactly like men, although we get at least one standard “all men are evil …

• Kyllorac (Progress Update)

  Completely forgot about abbreviations. @_x But progress is good! I expect great things from you Sly. Great things. >:3

• SlyShy (Progress Update)

  Periods on their own aren’t enough. The problem is you get all sorts of ambiguity with honorifics, abbreviations, etc. Stuff like “She needs her car by 5 p.m. Saturday evening. At 5 p.m. I had to go to the bank. She has an appointment at 5 p.m. Saturday afternoon. By 5 p.m. Sunday I have to be at home.” will wreck attempts to naively use periods and capitalization to act as sentence markers. Sentence tokenization is considered a pretty difficult natural language processing task. I’ve made some breakthroughs though… much lower error rate than most published algorithms. :-)

• Kyllorac (Progress Update)

  I eagerly await this sentence-by-sentence critiquing. :3 I suppose it’s too much to hope that the ability to doodle diagrams would be included. Ah, hardcopies – even in this day and age of technological advancement, you still can’t be beat. XP As for the sentence bit, have you tried denoting it by (punctuation mark)(space/line or paragraph break)? There are only so many punctuation marks that end sentences in the English language, after all. :D

• SlyShy (Progress Update)

  Heh, as a matter of fact, it is sentence-by-sentence critiquing, which no one else has been able to manage thus far (because having a computer figure out where sentences end and begin is difficult). Critique Circle is crazy annoying to use, compared to what I have planned. You know how lovely critiquing with a pen on a manuscript is? It’ll be as close to that as I can replicate on a computer. And yes, I should extol the virtues of Ruby. I’ll get on that after my hellish week of simultaneous assignments ends.

• Kyllorac (Progress Update)

  Nice! Your coding is disgustingly neat, though. Disgustingly. Is that line-by-line critiquing I spy? If so, you might want to nip over to Critique Circle. They have a paragraph-by-paragraph critique feature that you might want to take a look at for ideas and stuff, though their method uses JavaScript. P.S. – You never did extol to me the virtues of Ruby. :P

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  Wait, so she has long legs (and presumably hips) and full breasts that STRAIN AT HER TUNIC, and she imagines that people will mistake her for a boy…because she’s wearing breeches. Woah! I just had a flashback to Monsters vs. Aliens… Link: Why couldn’t we have gotten a mummy man or something? You know…someone to play cards with? BOB (pointing at Susan): Of course it’s a boy! Just look at his boobies! Link: We need to have a talk. Of course, BOB has no brain. So that might explain EVIL MISOGYNIST’S confusion….

• Gray Falcon (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  I find it interesting that the author’s actually passed up an opportunity to make Romilly act like a “strong, independent woman”. She threatens to scream for her brother. Why not just trip up the guy, and make him look like the idiot he is? Of course, I’m sure someone like Dom Garris is very accident prone. With his history, I’m surprised he hadn’t accidentally stabbed himself in the back a few times… On a more serious note, this book is an insult to feminism. If you want to read about a woman being forced to fight against cultural norms, try “Monstrous Regiment” …

• fffan (Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Part 2 - Chapter 1)

  if you guys make tee-shirts against abusing thesuaruses, with little messages like “stop the abuse” i’ll definately buy 50 thousand of them and post 49,999 to mr. Eng. with little notes attached to each shirt saying things like “the thesauruses are watching you veeeeery closely” :)

• fffan (Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate Spork, Part 1)

  wow… WOW you deserve a medal for sticking with this steaming pile of a book for this long. I tip my hat to you sir.

• fffan (MST Dungeon Special - "Silk and Steel" Spork)

  ewwww…

• Snow White Queen (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  your breasts showing through a tunic three sizes too small, you cannot play Lady Modesty with me now!” Old Fat Lecher has somewhat of a point. O the horror!

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 4: OH NOES BIG FAT GREASY SUITOR IS PAWING ME HALP.)

  Oh this is fun… “This is Angel,” she said to the young men, “She was born last winter, and I used to feed her with apple scraps—no, Angel, that’s my breakfast,” she added, slapping the soft muzzle away from the pocket where the horse was trying to rummage. But she relented and pulled her knife, cutting a small slice of apple for the filly. “No more, now, it will give you a belly ache,” she said, and the little animal, evidently taking her word for it, trotted off on her long spindly legs. (Pg. 443) When is this taking place? How long …

• Snow White Queen (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  @ Kyrollac: Yeah, the whole ‘equals’ thing is the part that really irritates me about many couples that are simply pushed together. You have to ask yourself whether these types of people could actually get along.

• Danielle (On Eragon the Sociopath)

  I think Paolini just made up the whole energy-storage-device thing in Book 2, and didn’t bother to come up with a feasible explanation for why Brom didn’t use it to heal himself in Book 1. Paolini would never admit it, but I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.

• Asahel (On Eragon the Sociopath)

  @ fffan: I’ve filed that one under “It’s been explained, but I don’t care enough to look it up.” Paolini was asked the very same question in an interview and responded that Brom had left the ring with someone else earlier in the book. I’ve not gone back to see if that’s true, but that’s what he said about it. Of course, even if it is true, there’s no way Brom would’ve let someone else have that ring no matter what, so it’s still sort of a plot hole. Why, yes, this ring has enough power to save me and my young charge …

• Kyllorac (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  Beauty and the Beast. Romance where one of the ppls is horribly ugly. But not irredeemably ugly. Beast gets transformed into a very handsome prince in the end. In case you don’t know, she published a companion novel to it. It gives more back story and a bit more detail about Leck. I haven’t read it all yet though so I’m not sure that he is really an important character in the book. I’ve heard about it, but I haven’t been able to get a hold of it yet.

• fffan (On Eragon the Sociopath)

  This is a little off topic, but did anyone else wonder why Brom didn’t pull out a little energy from the vast energy stores in his saphire ring and stitch up that wound that was given to him by the razaac? It may have been adressed in the book with some hopelessly ridiculous excuse like, “Brom’s death was a plot device so there.” or something i can’t remember.

• ZeeZee (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  I liked Graceling too! Not for the romance though. More for the character development and occasional creepiness. In case you don’t know, she published a companion novel to it. It gives more back story and a bit more detail about Leck. I haven’t read it all yet though so I’m not sure that he is really an important character in the book.

• Anonymous45 (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  Beauty and the Beast. Romance where one of the ppls is horribly ugly.

• Kyllorac (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  @SWQ – That reminds me, I wanted to have a whole section devoted just to the romance, but I would have just been gushing. XD The romance is quite literally perfect, but not in an irritating way. Although Katsa and Po’s strengths and weaknesses balance each other’s out perfectly, it isn’t all happy sunshine and daisies right away, and they actually have more in common than what’s apparent at first glance. Katsa and Po are truly equals in the relationship, and that’s what I really enjoyed most. @Angel – That couldn’t be further from the truth. Graceling is actually very good, …

• The Angel Islington (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  Sounds cool, though I picked this thing up like ten times at Borders and went “Pseudo-Fantasy/Feminism/StephMeyerwannabe” Apparently I was wrong, as I thought it was like a girl-power! version of Twilight or something.

• Snow White Queen (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  This sounds like a really interesting book, and your review brought up a lot of problems that I usually have with fantasy romances. However, if this book manages to avoid most of them, it’s definitely worth a try!

• Puppet (Book Review: Graceling by Kristin Cashore)

  Nice review, Kyllorac.

• SKB (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 12)

  I think that, along with your “balance fail”, “cream count”, “statue count”, and “heart attack count”, you should have a “lie count” (despite the fact she tells us she doesn’t like to lie), and a “inconsistency/contradiction count” on SM’s part.

• fffan (Dear Ms. Meyer, Please Write Better)

  (to get things more or less back on track). Nice work, kitty. I so wish Stephanie’s brother would let this things reach her precious, fragile eyes. Maybe then she’d actually improve. Maybe.

• falconempress (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 3: Proving Romilly Is Evil.)

  Ooh. I was starting to think he was getting falconry advice from a character in his books. O.o haha no. that is my desperate rage and anger you are reading:P But he also has a character named “Lenka” in one of his books, so I can see how that is confusing.

• fffan (Spork - Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate)

  heh! i can totally relate to you guys. when i was browsing through this book in a bookstore, i had to keep on pausing, frowning and going back to the beginning of paragraphs trying to make sense of red-herring-ish scentences. then i had to keep telling myself that if i pondered too hard i would lower my I.Q points

• fffan (A Wonderful Edward Idea)

  oh. i’ll never be able to drink capri sun again without thinking about this picture and laughing so hard i spray juice everywhere. good work though

• fffan (Why Edward is a Good Character)

  Ha! Nice work, kitty

• SKB (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 6)

  Oh yea, and this was the funniest thing I have ever read online. Kudos.

• SKB (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 6)

  The “lie machine” comment from pg 131 had me thinking that, if it wouldn’t take a lot of time and make this really long, you should have a “lie tally” as well as her “balance fail” and “cream count”.

• @@@@@@@@@ (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 3: Proving Romilly Is Evil.)

  Ooh. I was starting to think he was getting falconry advice from a character in his books. O.o

• fffan (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 8)

  lol He sees you when your sleeping. He knows when your awake

• fffan (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 8)

  you should introduce “the plot” to your little trio. i can just see it now: Mr. plot: Can I make my entrance now? Smeyer: No. Mr. plot: Now? Smeyer: No. Mr. plot: Now? Edweird Cullen: Seriously, Bella, don’t go into the forest alone. I’m not the most dangerous thing around. Mr. plot: gasp I-I think it’s my time to shine. Bella: sure thing master. Mr. plot: sobs Mr. plot picks up a gun and with a shaking hand, lifts it up to his temple. he pulls the trigger…

• fffan (Everything Wrong With Twilight: Part 6)

  twilight is a 460 (or something like that) paged waste of ink, paper, time, life and braincells

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 3: Proving Romilly Is Evil.)

  One of the main things I did for Embers was to make sure Lenka wasn’t the only special person around, and to give everyone equal time. There’s starting to get too many Lenkas in this spork, a bit confusing.

• Danielle (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 3: Proving Romilly Is Evil.)

  She also seems to take situational ethics to a whole new level: It’s okay for her to do it if she does it, but when anyone else does what she does, it’s terrible and wrong. I guess that can be construed as pride, which is not only one of the Seven Deadly Sins, but is also an incredibly annoying character trait in anyone and makes most people want to kick you in the teeth. Onto the whole misogyny thing….What about the misogynist’s point of view? I read one book that was about four women who all work in a shipyard …

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  It said something about the festival being about hunting and falconry. Its kinda hard to follow a pack of dogs running after prey through a forest in a cart. (LOL but it would be a pretty funny sight) Lccorp2 as answered, there are no carts (so far) in this world so my original point stands. They should be quite familiar with horses. If they are not feudalist where would they get the money though? Inheritance, earned it through smart finances, raiding, mercenary, lots of possibilities. How do people get money in the first place? Why would there not be carriages in their …

• Nate Winchester (Bad Author/Good Author – Episode 1)

  Either one’s ok. Despite Steph’s crazy notions, I’ve never had dignity or self respect.

• Danielle (Bad Author/Good Author – Episode 1)

  The first one reminded me of Cormac McCarthy. Great article, Nate….or do you prefer Natiekins?

• Steph the absent in mind, present in body (Bad Author/Good Author – Episode 1)

  Natiepoo. [rolls around on floor laughing] Your dignity has been trampled forever, Nate. All that aside, loved the article.

• lccorp2 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  -The current location in which Falconsward and its immediate neighbours is described as being mountainous. I haven’t seen a single cart or carriage so far, which is chapter six. -Horses are outside the reach of common farming folk not directly within the service of a noble (about three days’ travel). However, they have cheap smeerp alternatives of beasts of burden.

• Anonymous45 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  It said something about the festival being about hunting and falconry. Its kinda hard to follow a pack of dogs running after prey through a forest in a cart. (LOL but it would be a pretty funny sight) If they are not feudalist where would they get the money though? Why would there not be carriages in their world? How do they transport bulk goods? Weren’t horses driven before they were ridden? So wouldn’t that mean that carriages are older than horseback riding? And wouldn’t that mean that if they have horsebackriding they should already have carriages? So your hat weighs 10%-15% of …

• Nate Winchester (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  I meant they might ride in carts most of the time i.e. like in daily life. Here this is probably a special occasion because there is a festival involved, so they apparently ride horses on special occasions but it would be infrequent. Maybe that context is beyond the quoted passage but depending on land topography, the ladies probably can’t ride carts much. However, it being a special occasion makes even less sense. You get a bit dirty riding horses (and by that I mean a lot) so why would they pass up this chance to ride in a cart …

• Anonymous45 (BFT3K, Hawkmistress!, Chapter 2: I R Strong wimmenz. Rly! Author sez so!)

  I meant they might ride in carts most of the time i.e. like in daily life. Here this is probably a special occasion because there is a festival involved, so they apparently ride horses on special occasions but it would be infrequent. Black Beauty-okay you lived and worked with horses, but have you lived worked with horses several centuries ago? Yes, but those examples you cite are of people who are farmers. The characters in the story are clearly nobles which means they a) don’t rely on livestock directly for food—they rely on farmers’ taxes and dues for food, so the condition …

• Inspector Karamazov (Bad Author/Good Author – Episode 1)

  This made my day less annoying. Thank ye, Natiepoo!

• RomanticVampireLover (Bad Author/Good Author – Episode 1)

  Heheh, nicely done, Nate.:D

• WiseWillow (Bad Author/Good Author – Episode 1)

  Both authors seem to be a bit rude… funny article though :D

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