The Reading Test: Eragon, Chapter 7 & Chapter 8
I woke up to the sound of breathing. All over the white room—I can’t avoid it. Even when I sit down here next to the shower stall, I can hear the breathing.
— — —
Chapter 7: A Name of Power
: “Hey, Eragon, me and Katrina—”
: “No one cares, Roran.” [runs off]
: “BUT I’M GETTING MARRIED!” 
: “I SAID NO ONE CARES, RORAN!”
—
: “Hey dragon!”
: “Eragon!”
: “Why don’t you say something else?”
: “Fine.”
: “Dammit, I’m so angry right now! Roran’s such a douche! How dare he get married without my permission!” 
: “…Mmkay.”
: “So, I guess I need to name you. That would probably be best.”
: “Um, yeah.”
: “How about Billy? No, Bob. Eh, that reminds me too much of Roran’s old roommate…uhhhh…how about Harry?”
: “Are you retarded?”
: “No, but…”
: “But what?”
: “Oh you’re probably a girl dragon, huh? Ahaha, okay.” 
: “Can I get a new rider?”
: “Shut up, Saphira.”
— — —
Stop breathing on me. I’m trying to sleep. You’re not funny, voice—you’re just trying to make me believe I’m hearing things.
— — —
Chapter 8: A Miller-To-Be
: “Dad I wanna marry Katrina and go become a miller!”
: “No one cares, Roran.”
—
: [as real and complex as any person]
‘s personality: [eclectic and at times completely alien]
& : [understand each other on a profound level]
‘s actions and thoughts: [constantly reveal new aspects of her character]
—
: “Hey look, an eagle!”
: [catches it; releases it] “No hunter of the sky should end his days as prey. Better to die on the wing than pinned to the ground.”
: “Whatever, go get us some pheasants.”
Comment
By trexmaster
on Feb 1, 04:43 PM
I had no idea what the heck this is supposed to be.
By Kitty
on Feb 1, 04:47 PM
Read the other ones…
By Addie
on Feb 1, 04:51 PM
In stitches here.
By SlyShy
on Feb 1, 05:33 PM
No one cares, Roran.
By MegaB
on Feb 1, 07:29 PM
“How about Billy? No, Bob. Eh, that reminds me too much of Roran’s old roommate…uhhhh…how about Harry?”
I really thought you were going to make a HP reference here… DANGIT!
Another pretty funny one! Do keep it up Kitty!
By Eili
on Feb 1, 08:08 PM
Dead on. I love these! :)
Kitty, would you consider a polygamist marriage with my husband and me?
By SubStandardDeviation
on Feb 1, 09:33 PM
Psyphira: “No hunter of the sky should end his days as prey. Better to die on the wing than pinned to the ground.”
Eragon: “Whatever, go get us some pheasants.”
ZOMG. Win. Though knowing dragons, she’d probably prefer some peasants.
I wonder what the breathing references?
By Apep
on Feb 1, 09:47 PM
I’m curious about that myself.
My theory: reading Eragon is slowly driving our protagonist/narrator/whatever insane.
Also: “Are you retarted?”
BEST LINE EVER.
By Cory
on Feb 1, 10:40 PM
This was hilarious. “No one cares Roran!”
By falconempress
on Feb 2, 12:38 AM
priceless as always. The pheasants line made me giggle like a little girl. Which happened…never. thanks:)
By OverlordDan
on Feb 2, 06:54 AM
Am I the only one confused by the last three posts?
Also, Awesome Job! I’ve been checking every day for a new one of these :)
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