Written by Falconempress. Posted on Apr 23, 10:01 AM.

"You Slay Me" Spork: Chapter 4 Part 2

One part of my mind protested the fact that he was kissing me in full sight of everyone in the bar; the other part felt a moment of fear flare to life as I understood the true relationship between a dragon and his fire.

That’s just… I have nothing.

The two of them have an excruciatingly described make out session right there, in front of everybody, with the tongues and all. Just because it seemed like a good idea at the time, I guess. While they are eating each other’s faces, Aisling feels hot. And I mean literally hot, like she is going to burst into flames:

I was dying, burning from the inside out, Drake’s fire setting every atom within me alight.

I don’t think the author knows what an “atom“ is.

But before Aisling turns into a glorious conflagration (wow, two words I never thought I would ever get to use), something awful happens. She finds “a door“ in her mind, opens it, and a fire of her own bursts forth and she pushes it on Drake. Which means that their obnoxiously loud make – out session just turned a little more slurpy, if that was even possible.

Oh wait, yes it was.

Everyone was still watching us, I knew, but that didn’t stop me from leaning into Drake and rubbing my hips against him, fitting all my soft curves to the hard planes of his body.

They literally start to dryhump each other. While everybody is watching. I don’t know if these people are dense or what, but if this happened in my bar, I would go to them and advise those two to get a room and thus prevent the rest of the customers from vomiting their drinks back into the glasses. Just because I’m a jackass like that.

I wanted him, all of him, his fire and his body and his soul, right then and there, and I hate to imagine what would have happened if Drake hadn’t had the strength of purpose to pull back from me.

Trust me, you are not alone on that one.

Unable to look away—let alone think—

It only takes him making kissy face with her once and she is incapable of independent thought. If Twilight taught me anything – perfect wife!

I stared into his eyes, seeing the flickers of our shared fire in their emerald depths mingled with something that looked very much like surprise, surprise that quickly changed into speculation. Slowly, atom by atom, the fire he’d started within me dropped down to a simmer.

Because if you cook your women on too strong a fire, a lot of flavor is going to boil out.

“I believe that round goes to you,” he said softly, his voice thrumming through me, threatening to stir the newly banked embers.

Well that was a lousy climax. Get it? Get it? Ouch! What is with my hand slapping me on its own accord?

I untangled my fingers from his hair and took a step backwards, extremely aware of the voyeurism that I had paid no mind a moment ago. “Yeah, well, maybe you’ll think twice about messing with me again,” I said with bravado I didn’t feel, gritting my teeth over the shakiness of my voice.

“Yeah, you cross me again and next time, I will do worse things to you than just check your tonsils with my tongue!“

So after they unsettle the hell out of the whole bar, the Venediger himself comes to meet Aisling. Maybe because she was the first chick not to slap Drake after he came on to her. I wonder what his pickup lines are. “Ever been with a dragon? Yeah baby, that is a real tail. Wanna see what I can do with it? In private?“

Drake introduces Aisling to Albert Camus guh, the supposedly tyrant Venediger (one of the twins mentions it earlier, I just don’t remember whether Ophelia or Perdita). The Venediger expresses his delight at meeting a Guardian who is also a dragon leader’s mate. Despite the fact that the two nearly did the horizontal Cha – cha in the middle of the bar, Aisling is all ruffled about it:

“I don’t even know what a Guardian does, let alone why you people think I’m one, but this I do know—I am not anyone’s mate, especially not Drake’s, so you can just get that idea right out of your head.”

“I was trying so hard to show that I feel absolutely no attraction to this man right here, I don’t have the slightest idea why everybody keeps thinking there is anything going on between us!“

The Venediger counter – claims with “nobody other than the mate can withstand a dragon’s kiss“ and that it is now very clear to everyone what she really is. Heh, trust me. Everybody in that room know exactly what she is. And the word ain’t “a mate“.

Aisling also remarks on the aura of power surrounding Albert the Venediger. To her it feels like “a leashed power not unlike what I felt with Drake, only the Venediger’s was … harsher. Less refined. Cruder and much, much more scary.“ Gee, I wonder if that becomes any significant during the course of the book.

He then officially welcomes her to the club and thanks her for providing his customers with such an entertaining show, because it has been a while since they had a chance to see a dragon leader claim his mate.

Hmmm, “claim“. There is something off about that word choice, I can’t put my finger on it…

And if they find this entertaining, I don’t want to ask what they do on Tequila night.

“I am so not claimed. I’m not a mate, either,” I called after him. He ignored me.

“Damn, woman! Learn to know your place! It’s not your turn to speak unless spoken to first!“

I turned back to Drake, dread-ing the look of mocking assuredness that I knew I would see in his eyes. A man like him—one who knows he’s drop-dead sexy—couldn’t help but gloat over the fact that he had really rattled my chain.

A chain… dammit, this is going to keep me up all night. What is it about these expressions?

Drake and Aisling then head to get a drink. The barkeep asks her what is she going to have.

“Dragon’s blood,“ I snapped.

This is either very stupid or very funny.

But Dragon’s blood is apparently a real drink in G&T because Drake wants one as well. To which Aisling reacts by asking whether it’s real blood, and Drake laughs it off. It’s just a drink dragons like to drink. Is it just me or is that a bit weird? Would you drink something called, I don’t know “Babies’ Fingers“? Or “Eye Goo“? Dragons drinking something called “Dragon’s blood“ simply sounds wrong. I am trying to bring sense and logic into this, I know, I’m sorry. Not gonna make the same mistake again. Ooh, and totally dibs on the “Eye Goo” as a name for a cocktail. Hm, I now need a bottle of some coconut liquor and a little pink umbrella… oh wait, the book is still here, please God kill me now.

I sniffed at the glass. It didn’t smell like anything other than spiced wine. I took a small sip, gasping as liquid flames burned down my throat, quickly warming my stomach, the heat from the wine flowing out through my veins to every point in my body. “Holy cow,” I croaked, blinking back the tears that formed. “That’s potent. What’s in it?”

Cheap moonshine vodka.

He tells her she doesn’t want to know (Roofies!) and they move on to discussing business, which means that Drake lets go off her arm, which incites a “distinct sense of loss“. Damn, this girl seems nearly as clingy as Bella. She takes another sip of the drink.

“Oh, great, now my tongue’s gone numb. If I find out this has something harmful in it, you’re going to be history.”

He grinned. “Nothing harmful.”

I relaxed and took another sip, braced for the roar of fire that flooded my body.

“Not to dragons, that is. I’ve never heard of a mortal drinking it and surviving.”

Told ya. Cheap moonshine vodka.

The fire from the drink seeped into my blood, pooling low, in my groin.

If you feel anything “pooling“ in your groin, it’s never a good thing.

“You know, it’s not so bad this time. Maybe I’m getting used … What do you mean no mortal has survived drinking it?”

Gee, this chick has a worse reaction time than a lobotomized chipmunk.

He shrugged. “Just what I said.”

Oh goody. She cannot even have a drink now without its purpose being to show us just how Special ™ Aisling is YET. AGAIN. Speaking of that cheap moonshine vodka, I think I had a bottle of it around lying here somewhere… digs through stuff

“You asked for it. It would have been rude of me to deny you what you wanted.”

He’s saying that NOW. Just wait until after he gets into her panties. Seeing how this is going so far, I don’t think it’s going to take him very long. Or cost him much effort.

“Yeah? And if I asked you to help me jump off the Eiffel Tower, would you do it?”

Not only would I carry you all the way up there on my back, I will happily push you as well! Can I? Pretty please?

Aisling asks for her dragon back – again – and they do the whole “I won’t leave you alone until I get it“ and “I am never giving it back“ dance. Aisling points out there is nothing the statue would be useful to him for, to which Drake replies that he wants to keep it because “it’s pretty“. I’m dead serious, that’s what he says. In my head I hear him say it as “pritteh“, the way little girls do, haha. He also says that the statue contains something called “Anima di Lucifer“, which is Italian for “Blood of Lucifer“.

This is bullshit. “Anima“ means “spirit“ or “soul“, not blood. How hard is it to google a dictionary?

I hate this book so much right now.

The aquamanile is also one of the three “Tools of Bael“, whatever they are, I just don’t care one bit anymore. Although how much do you want to bet this is going to turn up as something cataclysmically important later in the book as well?

Aisling then asks whether the statue is somewhat related to his family, since it has green eyes, just like Drake does. And this pointless little remark ushers us into yet more infodumping, this time about dragons. I’m not really going to bother you with recapping all of it, just that dragons are very protective of what is theirs and would absolutely never part with anything of their treasure hoard. And turns out he was, in fact, with Interpol for a while, until he started stealing some precious antiques from their databases. Just go with it.

He says he did not draw the circle in the dead lady’s apartment, avoids answering any questions as of what he was doing there and refuses to tell Aisling anything more, since he sees no reason to help her and that she should come back when she has something for him in return. And also when have progressed far enough into the book. We can’t have him disclosing vital information in Chapter Four, can we? What would we read about for the following…many pages, then? So since the time for infodumping is over, I feel another round of innuendo and what passes for sexual tension in the world of Katie MacAlister coming up!

He openly oogles her, which pisses Aisling off, but also

Despite the embarrassment of having to offer myself as a barter, my breasts tightened at the thought of what it would be like to have his hands on them. Or his mouth.

Just – stop it. Honestly. Up until now I though that Bella was as bad as females get in romance stories but this is just… indescribable. And the mental gymnastics she does everytime when around Drake, she’s like a Gollum in a slinky dress: “We loves Drake, we loves him very much. Nooo, we hates Drake, we hates him!“

His eyes glittered dangerously as he leaned forward, stopping my words with the warning in his glance. “You really do not have the slightest idea of who I am, do you?”

An insufferable asshat?

Actually, Aisling says something along those lines as well, but since she is a good girl who does not use bad words, just like her mommy told her not to, not in the exactly same way. The utter lack of her falling on her ass because of how oh-so-powerful-and-important Drake is pisses him off, so much that there is a curl of smoke rising from one of his nostrils. Aisling does not take the hint and says that she will do anything to get the dragon back. She then downs what remains of her drink and proceeds to leave.

“Aisling,” he said, stopping me as his voice caressed my flesh. I shivered again, rubbing the goose bumps on my arms away as I turned back to look at him. He was so handsome, so damned handsome sitting there that it almost took my breath away. “You do understand that when I say that I will protect what is mine, I mean everything, not just treasure.”

This sounds awfully familiar.

Oh, yes, his meaning was crystal clear. Various parts of my body wanted to celebrate the look of possession

… all night, I swear. I just can’t figure it out, what could it possible be…

in his beautiful eyes, but I am made of sterner stuff. I lifted my chin and gave him as disdainful a look as I could muster, turning on my heel as I said, “In your dreams, dragon boy!”

Great. Now having horrible Barb Wire flashbacks. Which I would actually rather watch again that continue reading this pile of dragon excrement.

And with another chapter, we are closer and closer to the horridness of Twilight, with all the possessing and abuse going around. My last hope is that maybe Drake won’t start stalking her, but I don’t want to jinx it. This thankfully ends the chapter and next time… OH DEAR MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!

thank you for reading

falconempress

Tagged as Falconempress, Paranormal Romance, Spork, You Slay Me.

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