Written by Falconempress. Posted on Jun 29, 01:43 PM.

"You Slay Me" Spork - Chapter 16 Part 2

It’s okay, I’m okay, everything is okay. Let’s just forget that little…incident ever happened, okay? Eeeeeverything is fine. Eeeeverything is fine now. I can see the color of my voice now, but other than that, all is well.

sigh

So after… that …happens, Assling runs for the store. And who should she run into there but Drake? What an unexpected and totally random coincidence!

Fortunately, she doesn’t hang around to talk because thankfully, she still considers Drake to be the murderer. So while Amelie points her towards the back exit, Assling sets Jim on Drake and runs out to meet with Rene.

And despite everything, I again have to give credit where credit is due – it’s a fast – paced action sequence which is not pointlessly drawn out. Fast, snappy and to the point. Why isn’t the rest of the book like that?

So Assling gets to the cab, alone. This again is pretty competent character building moment – she even cries because she is worried about Jim – she is afraid he got killed or that Drake got him and is torturing him right then. Now I have no idea where she got the idea that Drake would do such a thing as torturing, or, as the book itself says, “tormenting” sentient beings randomly, because we are never shown (or told) the single instance of him displaying behavior that would cast a suspicion of him doing so on regular basis to glean information. If this were an any better written book, I would have a much bigger problem with this, but since this is “You Slay Me”, anything that is even mediocre or not completely idiotic seems glorious compared to all the other bullshit.

She decides to go back to the shop to get him, which is so reckless and stupid, even Rene calls her on that, but on the other hand, it shows that she really cares for the sick fuck in a dog form. I don’t have a problem with that. What I do have a problem with, though, is that instead of just driving away, Rene does exactly what she asks and goes back to the store. It would be a much more efficient moment if Assling kept yelling at Rene, trying to get him to go back, but since he is the man behind the wheel, he drives her to safety instead.

And why is nobody following them? She just took the back exit out of the shop and walked for two blocks to meet up with Rene. I don’t think she would be that hard to follow since she’s on foot.

The store where, not too long ago, everybody was just waiting to descend on Assling’s sorry ass, is, of course, completely empty by the time she gets back. Amelie tells Assling Jim is fine, he only ran off somewhere and that he will find his way back to her in no time. I’m really feeling funny here because it seems that besides myself, everybody keeps referring to Jim as “it”. I mean, yeah, he is annoying as fuck, but come on, a little acknowledgement of his personality wouldn’t hurt.

Was I just defending Jim right now?

This book is doing horrible, horrible things to my mind.

And I only have the one liver, you know.

Oh, and I forgot to mention – she gets back into the store by unlocking the backdoor with her credit card.

Do I even need to say it out loud?

But back to the point – why, when Assling had no trouble agreeing on a rendez – vous point with Rene, she couldn’t have agreed on one with Jim? It’s not like she just realized there may be trouble, she spent most of the book running and hiding from various creatures and creepy guys. One would think that by now, she would have the whole exit strategy thing sorted out. But this is “You Slay Me” and therefore I digress.

Assling arrives at the twins’ place, still broken up about not being able to find Jim. She is restless and wants to do nothing more than curl into a tight ball and weep. This is actually described in a way that makes me sympathize with the character. The reader can feel Assling’s worries, her pain, and unlike that heavy – handed ham – fisted, positively nauseating nonsense with Drake, this actually feels quite genuine. Dammit, MacAlister, there is a decent writer in there somewhere. Why do you keep smothering her at all costs?

Or maybe it really is because of the horribleness of everything else, the parts that don’t cause me actual physical pain seem fantastic in comparison.

Anyways.

Despite being a nervous wreck, Assling insists she goes through with the ritual. However, she did not manage to get the book she needed from Amelie’s. She then remembers she saw a copy in Perdita’s bookshelf.

“Oh, that’s all right. I’ll use Perdita’s. It’s a bit different from the one I’m familiar with, but I’m sure it will be OK. You don’t mind if I use your book, do you?” I asked, desperately trying to distract myself with trivialities.

Perdita opened her mouth to say something, but a quick look at Ophelia left her shaking her head. “No, please use the book. I don’t mind at all.”

Yeah, right. This is not suspicious at all. Not in the slightest. The ground is still shaking from the plot point dropping but no, I don’t see anything fishy in this exchange.

They decide to tape the whole thing because… the French police accepts the answers of a summoned demon as evidence, I guess, and Assling begins.

I took the Steganographia from the shelves and thumbed through it. I was vaguely familiar with the book, having read the translation (and decoding—part of the book had been written in a numerical code) a couple of years ago.

And yet you had trouble figuring out the most basic demon facts earlier. You can read this thing in its original language – whatever that may be (it says up there, she only came across a translation before) – but you can’t remember any basic facts such as “what makes a demon lord a demon lord”. The consistency is all over the place so much, I don’t think there really is a point remarking on it anymore.

She finishes the ritual. Nothing happens at first. And then something happens a bit later and the demon Bafamal arrives.

And this soul – crushing chapter is over. If you excuse me, I have an appointment with my therapist.

Thank you for reading,

falconempress

Tagged as Falconempress, Paranormal Romance, Spork, You Slay Me.

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